Thursday, August 4, 2011

Time For Change

When I used to sell Tupperware (which I am thinking about getting back into but need to have some hostesses, so if you are interested let me know... Ok I know shameless plug) my executive director was amazing.  She would walk around our meetings pumping us up.  She had such an energy that was just contagious.  She would tell us that if we do what we always did we will get what we have always gotten.  Made sense, if you are not willing to step out of that comfort zone, then nothing is going to change, and nothing will be gained.  But lets face it, stepping out of what we know is scary.

It is so easy to say you can't.  To tell yourself that it is impossible.  We do this on a daily basis with many things we are faced with.  Most of us grew up doing it.  Looking back I can see many things that were scary, that I refused to step out of my comfort zone, I gained nothing, and probably with out knowing lost a ton.  On the other hand I have stepped out, expecting to gain so much, and nope that did not happen, so left feeling very disappointed.  Not looking at the gains I made but being disappointed because I fell short of my goals.  For me this is one of the biggest things that are holding me back.  Fear of failure.

So when being accepted into this big opportunity to change my life, I was scared.  Part of me did not want to go do this.  Part of me still wants to hold back.  I have to meet new people.  Something I am not good at.  I always fear that I am going to offend people.  I fear showing my self because someone might not like me.  I fear putting my heart out there because I feel that one too many times I have let it be stomped on and suffered.  I have learned to let fear change, and lead my life.

I went and met some amazing people.  All have different stories, all so inspiring.  People that I would have never met, had I let fear stop me.  Then it came to workouts.  I have never done a push up, I had not done most of the exercises that were asked of me.  I did not want to look weak, something that I honestly saw myself, someone who was weak.  I was scared to fail.  These feelings are always there.  I am honestly sure that they have slowed me down during workouts, in ways I do not want them to.  I want to be perfect, so I always question what I am doing, wondering what I am doing wrong.  I can honestly say that fear was one of the biggest things holding me back during the running of the Marathon, and during my running.  I was afraid the entire time I was running that I upset someone, or that I was not ready for this.  So many things ran through my mind in the 5 1/2 hours I was out there.

While thinking about everything,  I see that fear is what is holding me back from losing the rest of this weight.  I say that because how many times have I stopped myself during a workout?  How many times have I held myself back?  I am sure that they are too numerous to count.  Also when it comes to fear is changing my eating habits.  What will people think if I don't eat like I used to eat?  Will they think that I am too good for them?  Will they see me as an example?  What happens if I fall off the wagon, can I
get back up?

Well I decided not to hold myself back anymore.  I started a new nutritional plan.  When I went shopping to get the food, I walked through the store with my head held high.  I knew that everything I was putting in the cart was good for me.  I was proud to be purchasing things that I normally would not purchase.  I enjoyed cooking the new recipes I was given.  The feeling of excitement came over me as I knew that I was taking a chance on the unknown.  Putting faith that in this plan I was going to achieve all of the goals that I never thought possible.

I refuse to think about what happens if I fail, instead I am going to remain confident and know that I am going to succeed.  I am going to lose this extra weight that I have, which is going to lead to me having more energy, and achieve all of my goals.  Now is that time for change.  Now is the time for me to put my heart out there and stop worrying about what if, and failure, and know that this is the first of many steps to improve my life.

1 comment:

  1. You SHOULD be walking with that head held high, girl! If people can be offended by what you are eating (unless you're eating endangered species or something), then they do not know you as well as you think they do. Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter. You can do this!


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